Thursday, 6 February 2014

Lesson 13: Why It's Fine To Reminisce About BEFORE

We all do it.
Okay, some of us (ahem) look back at the Before Days marginally more often than others.
Regardless, I just want to put it out there that this is FINE.
Normal, natural, necessary.

Some mums, I have noticed, don’t partake in Before Remembrance.  This, I believe, is largely due to feeling guilty about thinking back to a time when we were not mums. As if it signifies regret for having joined The Motherhood. I feel no such guilt, and I’ll tell you for why.

The Before Days should be celebrated for all they represented.
Freedom, lie-ins, going to the cinema, having something to get ready for (baby gym class doesn’t count), climbing the career ladder (or not climbing it through choice), having time to browse, having money to buy, having dimple free thighs, uninterrupted sleep, Hangover Sundays, talking to your partner (not about kids), having a tantrum free dinner, going on holiday...

My word the list is endless!
Carefree Camping at V Festival
There is no shame in remembering these Glory Days.
Last week, when my toddler lay on the floor in Next screaming ‘HELP ME I’M STUCK! FIRE! CALL FIREMAN SAM!’ (he wasn’t stuck, there was no fire) I remembered with great fondness the days when I could actually look at clothes whilst out shopping. And try them on. Without getting red and sweaty and without swearing.

Do I miss life before motherhood? HELL YES. Is that not allowed?

I am by no means suggesting I would rather not have a child. The situation is different now. You are in no way being unfaithful to your bundles of joy by remembering life without them, nor are you wishing to wipe them out of the equation. Rather, you are remembering life before. A different time. A special time.

Having a tan. Being slim. Reading. This is my ultimate Before Remembrance indulgence
From now on, when people say ‘god I can’t imagine life without the kids, can you?’ I will stand tall and say 'YES I BLOODY CAN. It was beautiful.'

The Unmumsy Mum


  1. Haha! I love this post!
    I agree, I do miss the before days, of course I do! They were so much easier, but would I go back now? No. That's the point isn't it.

    1. Spot on! You would never go back because now you have something more special. But if I had a time machine I could use occasionally....! Thanks for reading :-)

  2. Someone in my Twitter timeline RT'ed the link to this post and I'm so glad they did. I may have just found a new favourite blog!

    Oh and P.S. not having a raisin encrusted carpet/sofa/car. One of my personal happy memories of life BP (Before Pip). ;)

    1. Yes to the raisin free furniture!! What a treat that would be ;-) Thank you for reading.

  3. Cinema dates and guilt-free hungover lie ins... oh the bliss... lol xx

    1. Oh don't! Stop it! I can't take any more remembering of fun times *sobs*. Thanks for reading :-)

  4. Life before kids was certainly very different, wasn't it? I think of it as exactly that - different - rather than better or worse. And life with kids (we have three aged 6 and under) is constantly changing - in some ways getting tougher, but the good always outweighs the bad for me. I'm happy to reminisce on our simpler, more adventurous life before kids while enjoying life with them too. I don't see why the two can't coexist together.

  5. Couldn't agree more - there can be no comparison when they are two totally different worlds! I love both worlds for their individual merits, and reflecting on the Before Days should be perfectly acceptable. Thanks for reading :-)

  6. I love your blog, have only just come across it and it's just brilliant - funny, reassuring and spot on! I have two boys under two and I remember when having my first being asked this question (my response being 'yes') and feeling shocked at how many people I recall exclaiming 'I can't remember what life was like pre baby' I personally think they're choosing not to remember so as not to tease themselves!