Thursday 1 January 2015

Lesson 34: Having Kids - The Best and Worst Bits

The worst bits:

The crying.
The crying. And the whinging. Sometimes relentless, it drills into your skull and makes you throw a baking tray across the kitchen (apparently...) 
Soundtrack to a bad day 
The inability to ever leave the house on time again.
Last minute nappy changes, the toddler's daily poo (30 mins with a magazine, yes really), tantrums, and shouts of, "Where the fuck is his fucking coat?" ensure you are always late. And grumpy. 

The mess.
Unless you have the luxury of a playroom (we don't), your living space will now resemble the Early Learning Centre. Sure you'll tidy up, but little humans insist on getting all of the toys out all of the time. They particularly enjoy tipping out toys with lots of small pieces. This results in having baskets full of non-matching puzzle pieces, random blocks of Duplo and half a Sofia the First tea set, because quite frankly you cannot be arsed to sort them all again. Sigh. 
The basket of crap
Sleep.
Or lack of. Such an obvious negative to becoming parents but MY GOD I never realised how much my general sense of wellbeing relied on sleep. I can't remember the last time I wasn't awake at 3am. I bloody hate 3am.

Children's TV.
A lifeline in all manner of situations, you will adopt a love/hate relationship with Kids' TV. Some of which is truly insufferable. Like Bubble Guppies. And one day you will worryingly realise you have seen every episode of Peppa sodding Pig ("I think this one's my favourite, Peace and Harmony in all the world!") and formed theories about the residents of Ponty Pandy. Like could Norman Price be Fireman Sam's secret love child? No sign of Mr Price and they are both ginger...just saying.

DNA test?
But in amongst the mess and the cartoons and the stress and the noise, there are moments of brightness and brilliance. The best bits:

The cuddles.
Those little arms around your neck, a little face snuggled in to your chest. Knowing that when they hurt themselves only Mum or Dad's cuddles will do. Special times.

The laughter.
Yes sometimes I cry (a lot). And sometimes I comment on how bloody hard life with kids can be. But the flip side of that is the laughter. Our house is filled with laughter everyday. Funny things the toddler says, hysteria due to tiredness, winding each other up. This house feels warmer when filled with our boys. 

The future.
I mean that's what it's all about, isn't it? On the darkest of sleep-deprived days, when I can't have a shower (or a wee) in peace, when I throw out the skinniest of skinny jeans because they are no longer realistic, when I wonder if I will ever have an uninterrupted meal again...I think ahead to five years time. Ten years time. Twenty years even. When my babies will be causing havoc at school, or bringing girls home as teenagers, or having babies of their own. All the times to come when I will be so very thankful that two became four and we created arguably the most important recipe for happiness.

A family.
Love these little buggers
Lesson 34: Having kids will provide a wealth of memories you will treasure forever. An eclectic mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly (potty training), I'm sure someday we'll look back fondly on it all. Won't we? Please tell me we will...

The Unmumsy Mum






26 comments:

  1. I'm trying to accept that my house will be a bombsite forever more - despite having a 6 year old I'm still struggling to accept it!

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    1. Haha I feel your pain. Sometimes when the kids are in bed and all is tidy it seems such a shame that they wreck it again in the morning! Thanks for reading :-)

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  2. Mine are now older. Can I add to your number 1/ 'The Arguing'? Because if the crying and the whinging don't finish you off, the arguing surely will...

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    1. Yes! In my house though the arguing is what sets off the crying and whinging. They come as a package deal...:-/

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    2. Arguing is always over something made of plastic in my house. I say to my daughters if you're going to argue why not pick a subject worth discussing - the effects of poverty on educational success, third world hunger, terrorism, global warming, etc.

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  3. As much as I LOVE the cuddles..they're not so cute when said toddler is feeling unwell and wants to simply sit and cuddle you permanently, all day, without so much as a tea break then screams/crys/rings the nspcc because you had the audacity to put her on the sofa for 2mins to have a pee/answer the phone/grab the calpol :(

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  4. can we add the Diarrhoea and Vomiting....especially when it happens at 3 in the morning in a bed that just happens to also house 20 furry "friends" that then also need washing !!

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  5. The older they get, the smaller the toys get! I have to admit that I have put a valance on my boys two beds just so that I can kick all the small stuff under them and not look at it any more! I learnt early on to do a floor sweep before lights out so that when I'm summoned loudly at 3am (because an important toy has fallen out of bed) I don't stab my feet on f'ing Lego!

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  6. It does get better! Then comes puberty.

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  7. Great blog! Today I have had a bad parenting day! Lots of tantrums and answering back and oh my god the whining but hopefully tomorrow will be better...please!!! You are right nothing beats those arms round your neck!

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  8. Thank you for your blog...you make me feel normal when I feel surrounded by so called super mums that never complain or seem to even raise the tone of their voice and look immaculate, skinny and made up! !...cows! 😉
    It's much appreciated!

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  9. Totally just lost my shit this evening. Screamed at the toddler to shut up and threw a plate of chips across the kitchen. My other half is treating me like he's about to call social services and I feel like the worst mother in the world. Help, help, help....

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    1. Glad to hear that I'm not tye only one having thise moments. Shouted at middle child as she pulled (and nearly banged the head of) my youngest. Feel like I'm living on egg shells....i can heaf myself overreacting but can't stop myself!

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    2. Oh god I feel the same nearly every day of the week! My most used phrase is " I'm the worst mother in the world!" I know I'm not and I'm sure you're not either, we do the best we can and each day can be challenge of the highest order. Talk to your other half, even if they don't understand (and probably won't ) getting it off your chest at least will help to move past it. Tomorrow is another day (and hopefully a better one!) keep on trucking momma!

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    3. Thank you to all who just replied to my post. So lovely to know I'm not alone - just wishing the other half would understand....he doesn't get it at all.

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    4. Just laughing my head off at the shouting at toddler to shut up and throwing a plate of chips! So glad it's not just me, I lost it too yesterday and screamed the place down. It is so bloody hard! Keep on going though, you can only do your best and we all lose it sometimes, that's when you have to take a small step back to regain control X

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    5. My husband has gone away for 3 days to a family wedding leavi g me at home with a 2 year old,4 week old and our dog...who has social issues. All i've seen today is how great everyone's besutiful family is, how amazing their kids are and how they have just bought great size 8 clothes in the summer sales...which had made me cry...at least three or four times...maybe five....as well as shouting at the dog and the toddler. Thank you all for making me feel like i'm not the minority. Hope a coffee and/or ice cream helps improve your day z

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  10. Were the chips salvageable? 5 second rule? Hang in there...

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  11. Been there, done that (in the form of a sausage hotpot!)!
    Thank god toddlers are resilient and will have forgotten about it by tomorrow. If not, use biscuits as bribery! x

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  12. In so glad I'm not the only one who wondered about fireman Sam and Norman Price! 😃 x

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  13. We always wondered if it was Uncle Mike was the father (the latent ginge gene is there) he and Bronwyn had a threesome - she's such a hippy. Trevor & Dilys' love affair, Penny's unrequited love for gay ben and where have all the other residents gone??????

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  14. After watching a loooot of Ben & Holly. I am pretty sure there's a lot of sexual tension between nanny plum and the wise old ELf....

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  15. The messy house means you have a life! My children are all grown up and my house is still messy as I've got a life! Children make you realise there are more important things to make time for. My favourite time was book at bedtime. Children bathed, in PJs and ready to settle down after a story. I've just ordered one of my favourite books for my granddaughter, Huge Harold!

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  16. Omg, I love this - I have 4 grandchildren and 2 children. I still have guilty feelings when I remember bringing up my own - these wonderful comments make me feel so much better after all these years. Keep them coming you lovely mums.

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